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| Thanks to News Ltd for this tasteful graphic |
Today I wrote to Graham
Perrett
A sleazy man who rhythms with 'ferret’
I told him “We
don’t need no porn!”
And heaped on him my utmost scorn
The Tele warns
us off this book
(And helps us all to take
a look)
And so it was I saw some words
A million times more rude than 'turds'
His graphic tales of modern congress
Are grounds for hanging, yet I digress
Such filthy text - it makes me squirm
And what on earth’s a ‘surly worm’?
I note he writes of m_____bation
Of groins and loins and much gyration
He tells rude tales of s_x and gays
All bad for us in many ways
Say, should an adult buy his book
Well then some naughty mites might look
Upon those pages, rude and lewd…
Immediately their lives are screwed!
So
let’s make sure we never let
A moment pass when we forget
The fearsome dangers
to our youth
If Members’
novels are uncouth
Insist they write of decent
fish
That swim
around or grace
our dish!
I warn all anglers - shun THIS
tome
And never keep it in your home!
POSTSCRIPT
I found a mate who could explain
The nature of the author's pain
It's clear that as his worm is surly
He may be worried he's a girly
Which goes to show that every time
An author commits heinous crime
There often is a psychic cause...
So round 'em up and lock the doors!
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